idk#2

This blog used to be a place for me to write things that I felt I want to, or post stuffs that I like. But now, I don't really know what to do with this blog anymore. Time proves that I rarely updated it. It sits on the older Blogger platform, and sometimes I don't really like the way it handles things. And most importantly, I don't feel I was blogging sincerely here. And that sucks.

Whatever.

idk

yeah, i know, it's a freaking vicious cycle. and i'm still in it, part of it. it kinda freaks me out all the time. it's like when jamal abdillah talking about himself. yeah, kind of.

Kekecewaan boleh membuatkan seseorang itu melakukan sesuatu yang di luar batasan, bukan?

Perhentian Malam (diblog semula)

Di waktu silam
di tengah kepekatan malam
angin berhembus meniup dedebu jalanan
daun-daun emas gugur berserakan
rantingnya patah jatuh bersilang
bunga-bunga semakin layu membisu
dan kupu-kupu dinihari terbang pulang
mengikut arus noda cinta yang fana.

Halaman rindu tidak dihuni
tiada lagi harum, tiada lagi menusuk kalbu
mawar penyeri kian tandus
tidak seperti dahulu
gubahan asmara dan godaan perawan
kian kaku, membeku
hanya guntingan memori silam
menjadi pengubat rasa
duka lara, tangis sendu.

Kupu-kupu dinihari terus hanyut
dalam noda malam hari
di sebalik genangan air mata syahdu
ditemani pelupuk hati
yang merasa rindu.

"God knows I'm not perfect, either. I've made tons of stupid mistakes, and later I regretted them. And I've done it over and over again, thousands of times; a cycle of hollow joy and vicious self-hatred. But even so, every time I learned something about myself..."

- M.K.

, (untuk teman yang jauh)

,
perhentian sementara
persinggahan rasa
satu fasa
untuk kita
sebelum menyambung
perjalanan
dan langkah-langkah jiwa
yang telah sekian lama
bermula

paranoia

paranoia semalam,

menjelikkan

mengukur kata, membuka rahsia

hakikatnya

tenggelam dalam terang

jatuh lemas dan sesak,

mati jauh ke dasar jurang.